At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
