Im at strip club and am horny
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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