so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
