Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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