You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
