is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
