just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
