Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
