just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize