hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can I color on your dick again?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
