i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
