i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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