i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
