She said her name was "party"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
