Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
