So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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