it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
