Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
