..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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