Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
