Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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