The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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