Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
