My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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