It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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