Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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