I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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