I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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