Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
