I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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