I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This baby is an asshole
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
