omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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