hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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