all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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