if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
