fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
