i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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