I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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