Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
