The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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