This girl is more easily done than said...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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