Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
