Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
