I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Operation Purity has been aborted
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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