So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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