I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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