another moral hangover. fuck.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
