If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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