I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
