great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
