Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
