like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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