the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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