Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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