how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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