We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
