The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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