I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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