Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
