They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
