If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Less talking, more tequila
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
