Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
