I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
