Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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