Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
